


It's You, Always || Drarry

by Oasisheadlights



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-08 16:10:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12868200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oasisheadlights/pseuds/Oasisheadlights
Summary: After finding out about Harry being gay his aunt and uncle send him to Hogwarts, a boarding school for children and young adults. Years down the road he's made two friends and has fallen in love with his enemy. Many troubles follow this toxic love. Will they sort things out or start all over again?D I S C L A I M E R12.27.18This is an unedited version of a fanfic I originally wrote two years ago. This fic was written on wattpad starting in September of 2016 and I unpublished it earlier this year (2018.) The unpublished version isn't as edited as I had liked it to be, but it was mostly to change their ages and save my ass. I won't be going back to edit any of this but I will leave it up for others to enjoy.





	1. Finding Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise in advance for any mistakes in spelling, grammar or punctuation. Originally written September 27, 2016.

It was Harry Potters eleventh birthday and of course the Dursleys didn't even give him a drop of attention. For the last ten years he had lived with them. They had been reluctant to take him in, considered throwing him out on the streets in hopes he's be taken by someone else, or better - just die - but at last those thoughts left their minds.

Although they didn't love him as Harry imagined his own parents would, it was better than living with complete strangers. At least that's what Harry thought. Sometimes though, he wished he lived with people who didn't know him or his parents. People who could have raised him as their own so he had those figures in his life instead of feeling neglected by his Aunt and Uncle. People who couldn't constantly say bad things about his parents, parents he couldn't stick up for because he only knew one thing about them - how they died.

He had been with them the night they died. Somehow he got out with only a scar on his forehead, but both his mum and dad weren't so lucky. He was told it was a car crash, but he had a hard time believing that because how was it that he barely got injured and the only other people with him died? He couldn't push to see if it was the truth though, they don't like talking about his parents all that much.

Since living with the Dursleys, Harry has been forced to be a sort of slave to them. He cooks, sometimes he clean, then he's shoved back under the stairs in his cupboard room. He goes to school too, but he doesn't really enjoy it. Dudley, his stupid cousin, is always bullying him. Him and his gang of mouth-breathers constantly beat on him and call him names.

One of the worst parts of going to school is the girls. A lot of the time girls don't pay him any attention, but when they do it's a disaster. He doesn't really feel anything towards girls, but he's not sure why. Harry has never felt anything towards anyone except anger really, so he's not sure he would even be able to recognise any feelings he had toward another human. He mostly just pushes it aside when a girl attempts to flirt with him. It doesn't matter to him. At times he'll get mad and yell at them to leave him alone, but he can't help it. They have this need to constantly push their feelings on him when they can clearly tell he doesn't feel the same.

This leads us here, to Harry's eleventh birthday. He was sitting in his cupboard looking at the only picture of his parents he had. There was a sudden small knock on the door and Harry heard his uncle move to open it. He pushed himself into the door, trying to hear the conversation. It sounded as if Uncle Vernon was talking to a girl, possibly a girl Harry's age from the sound of her voice, but he couldn't hear what was being said. Harry sighed. Probably not anyone I know he thought why would anyone my age come here. No one could like Dudley and I'm certainly not someone any girl could actually want to see. No one knows where I live anyways.

Footsteps approached the door to the cupboard, one pair light and more frequent and the other pair heavy and taking longer steps. Harry moved back and sat on his bed, if uncle Vernon found out he had been listening...

They both came to a stop and the door to Harry's small room under the stairs was opened.

"There's someone here to see you, boy. Hurry up now, get out." Uncle Vernon spat. Harry scrambled out and looked at the girl. He hadn't seen her before, not that he could remember anyways. She looked almost exactly like Harry, except her eyes were a different colour and she was dressed in a sort of fancy manner. Where Harry's eyes were green like his mothers, this girls eyes were a light, rich blue. Harry wore Dudleys old clothes, clothes that were way too big for him and hung loosely around him, but she wore a beautiful fitted blue dress that stopped at her knees and a pair of black converse. She smiled at Harry and asked him outside. Uncle Vernon didn't look too pleased that Harry had a visitor, but allowed him to go with her. They both walked out and sat in the driveway.

"I'm sorry, but should I know you?" Harry asked as politely as he could, though their was a sort of anger laced in his voice.

"Oh no, of course not. I stay quiet at school. I'm also older than you. My sister asked you out the other day, though. She explained to me how you had gotten annoyed with her. So I need to ask you something." She stopped for breath, then continued, looking slightly embarrassed. "What is your sexual orientation?"

This question took Harry by surprise. He had never thought about this before. Sure, he wasn't really attracted to any girls, but he had never been attracted to any boys either. Not that he knew of anyways. Now that he was thinking about it though...

"Well.. I'm not sure." He said truthfully, looking down as embarrassment took over him. His face grew red as an uncomfortable silence settled between the two.

"Was there ever a time you felt anything other than anger toward anyone?" She asked quietly, as if she felt speaking any louder would break Harry.

Harry thought about this. There was one time back when he was nine but he pushed it away as a friendly feeling. The boy ended up moving away after only a week and Harry hasn't seen him since. He would always remember the boys grey eyes though.

"There was a boy a couple years ago. I thought I was feeling some sort of pull toward him in more of a friendly way and he wasn't here very long, a week maybe. He had these eyes though, I can't seem to get them out of my head. Even now..." Harry trailed off, his face growing even more red. In that moment the girl knew.

"You're gay, Harry," she whispered. She stood up and, with a small wave, walked down the driveway. Harry stood and watched her go until she was just a spec in the distance, finally disappearing. He sat there for a moment, confused and angry, before walking inside mumbling to himself, trying to figure out what this meant. He always thought he just hated other humans, he was lonely and mentally abused. He never thought... But then again... He shook his head violently.

"I'm not gay." He whisper-yelled, but it sounded wrong. He was lying to himself. "Maybe I am..."

"What are you?" Dudley yelled, pushing him into the wall. Harry winced.

"Nothing." He spat, starting to walk into the kitchen to do his daily chores. Harry didn't know, but Dudley heard the conversation through the door. Dudley heard Harry talking to himself when he came back inside. Dudley knew everything. "Mind you own business.." He mumbles under his breath as he passed.

"Fairy.." Dudley whispered, following him into the kitchen.

"What did you say!" Harry screamed, anger pulsing through his whole body. Why was he suddenly mad about being called that? He had never been mad about it before.

"I said," Dudley said through gritted teeth "fairy."

"I'm not a fairy!" Harry yelled, his anger only growing more.

"Don't lie, I heard everything you said. 'I can't seem to get them out of my head'" he mocked. Harry's face got red with embarrassment.

"So what if I am? It doesn't matter much to you."

"There's a fairy in my house?" Uncle Vernon yelled. _Stupid Jesus freaks_ Harry thought angrily.

"Yeah, I guess so." Uncle Vernon grinned wickedly.

"Finally, an excuse to get you out of this house. Pack your bags boy, because you're going to boarding school."


	2. Secret Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise in advance for any mistakes in spelling, grammar and punctuation. Originally written October 2, 2016.

"Knock it off, Ron!" Harry yelled as Ron threw acorns at his head. Harry started walking away, back inside the burrow, but Ron blocked the way. It had been nearly five years since they met. 

 

"No!" He yelled, throwing three more. 

 

Harry had been staying at his best friends house for three days now, along with their friend Hermione. Ever since the first day Harry got on the train to Hogwarts, a free boarding school (since the Dursleys didn't want to spend money on him), he had hit it off real nice with those two. 

 

Since going to Hogwarts the Dursleys have let him have a little bit more privileges, but not many. He has his own room for the first time in his life, one that he can actually walk around in unlike the cupboard under the staircase, but they were still major arses to him. After finally getting a letter from Mrs. Weasley, Rons mum, Harry got to go to the burrow. This happened every summer now.

 

There were about four days until school started and Harry couldn't be less excited to board the train and start classes. As much as he loved Hogwarts, a lot has happened since his first year. For instance, he got a boyfriend. Since he wasn't out to anyone but his friends and his boyfriend wasn't actually sure he was gay they kept it a secret. In front of everyone they acted like they didn't know each other, no one knew what happened behind closed doors. After about three months they broke up. Harry was sick of hiding his feelings and his boyfriend had been cheating on him with a girl back home. Since then he hasn't dated anyone. He's had feelings for people and flirted quite a bit, but no one seems to be gay. 

 

"Oh, would you two stop!" Hermione cried. Ron stopped and sent an apologetic look at the girl, but she glared at the pair before continuing to read as she walked inside. 

 

"Always reading some damn book.." Ron mumbled, walking back inside the burrow behind Hermione, leaving Harry alone outside. 

 

"Thanks guys!" Harry yelled, sitting on the ground. He didn't enjoy being alone, especially when he knew his friends would probably be snogging sooner rather than later, even if they didn't know it yet. It left room for him to awkwardly walk in on them and for him to be jealous because he didn't have a partner to snog. He started picturing his two best friends snogging in the corner, trying to keep it a secret, and shivered. 

 

He quickly pushed the thought out of his mind, letting it wander to his enemy. He had met him at a young age and took a liking to him, but after meeting him again in his first year he questioned why he liked him so much. At first he was sweet, kind of shy, but on the train he was very stuck up. He was very rude to his friends as well, overall just an obnoxious person. For some reason, though, Harry couldn't stop liking him. 

 

"Harry, sweetie, dinner is ready!" Mrs. Weasley called out to him. He ate dinner silently, everyone around him talking and having fun, before going to his and Ron's shared room.

 

"Night, Harry." Ron mumbled through a yawn.

 

"Night, Ron." Harry said quietly, though he had no plans of going to sleep at that moment. Instead, once he heard Ron's even breaths and small snores, he got up and wrote a letter. 

 

_Dear Draco,_  
_Once school starts, I want to meet you somewhere. I'm not sure where, we can discuss that more before school starts, but I need to ask you something that can't be asked through letters. There are four days left to send letters before the school year starts and I'll give you my last summer letter on the train._  
_Harry x_

 

Harry signed the letter quickly, shoving it into an envelope and scribbling Dracos address before rushing to his bed. Mrs. Weasley came in to check on them quickly and quietly, not noticing Harry's fast uneven breathing. After several hours of thinking Harry drifted off to sleep.

 

"Come on mate, we're gonna be late for the train if you don't get up!" Ron rushed. Harry had stayed up all night writing the last letter for Draco and really didn't feel motivated to get up. He had fallen back asleep three times this morning. "You can sleep on the train!" 

 

"Harry! get! up!" Hermione yelled, pausing every word to hit him with a book. 

 

Harry mumbled something before closing his eyes. He got a blow to his head and sat up, grabbing the book and throwing it. 

 

"I'm up, I'm up. Leave me alone!" He flew up from his bed and grabbed everything. They rode to the train station, Ginny and the twins joking around while Hermione and Ron talked quietly. Harry sat in silence, thinking about his hopeless crush. _He'll never like me! The only reason he wrote to me was because he wanted to be my friend, that's all! He was even reluctant and skeptical about being friends because I had once rejected him! So stupid...._

 

Harry hit himself in the face, forgetting everyone was in the car with him. They looked at him strangely, Mrs. Weasley and Hermione giving him concerned looks. Fred and George started laughing, going about their conversation again. Harry cursed himself out silently, smiling reassuringly at everyone else as to say 'I'm okay'. He knew Hermione and Ron would push to know what had happened though.

 

They arrive at the station and quickly make it to their platform. They load their trunks on the train and find a cart to sit in, waving to Mrs. Weasley as the train pulled away.

 

"I'll be back, bathroom.." Harry mumbled after a few silent moments. Hermione looked at him with concern but he ignored her and walked out of the carriage, finding the bathroom Draco would be going to moments later to pick up the letter and give Harry the one he had promised him. Harry puts the letter on the toilet paper holder and quickly splashes his face. There was still sleep in his eyes. A knock came from the door, then the blonde boy walked in.

 

"Potter.." Draco mumbled, a smirk spreading across his face as he hands him the letter. He picked his letter up from the toilet paper holder before placing a small kiss to Harry's cheek and leaving. 

 

_What was that?!_ Harry thought to himself, looking at the letter in his hand. He walked out of the bathroom, a small smile playing on his lips.

 

"What is that, Harry!" Ron yelled once he got back. 

 

"Nothing.." Harry mumbled, but Ron took the letter. In attempt to grab the letter back, it slipped out of both of their hands and with Harry's luck, it flew out the window. 

 

"Why couldn't you just leave it alone!" Harry yelled, leaving the compartment with newly found anger. He walked along until he got to the bathroom again, sitting there as sobs took over his body. Harry didn't know, but inside the sealed envelope was his hopeless crushes true feelings towards him, both good and bad. Inside the envelope was a single piece of paper that would explain everything Draco had ever felt towards him, and it had just slipped through his fingers. The chance to be with the boy he loved, gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this, even though its short and crappy. I'll try editing soon. 
> 
> ~~ 30.11.17


	3. Sports and Kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise in advance for any mistakes in spelling, grammar and punctuation. Originally written October 19, 2016.

_Whoosh_ a ball flew past Hermione's face as they walked into the Great Hall. Today was football day, Gryffindor against Slytherin, and the whole school was more than excited to see the game. As one of the best Gryffindor teams players walked in all the Slytherins made 'boo' noises. He brushed it all off and continued walking with his friends.

They sat down at the tables and waiting for all the food and drinks to be brought out. Once everything was on the table they began loading their plates, Hermione taking a couple pieces of toast and Ron stacking his plate up with bacon and pancakes, along with some sausage and syrup to top it all.

"You eat like a pig!" Hermione whisper-yelled, shaking her head as a grin spread across her face. As much as she hated the way he ate sometimes, she couldn't hide how much she liked him.

"So?" He asked, shoving the food into his mouth. She shakes her head again before nibbling on her toast.

Harry sits silently, not grabbing anything to eat. He was excited for the game, but nervous because of who he's playing against. A note he had received earlier in the week wouldn't leave his thoughts:

 _Harry,_  
_The next game we have, meet me in the Slytherin locker rooms afterwards_  
_Draco xo_

Harry didn't know what would happen, but he couldn't help feeling a little scared for their meeting. They hadn't met up once since their last encounter in the bathroom and Draco knew exactly how he felt where Harry knew nothing.

Hermione and Ron bickered quietly, not noticing Harry's silence as they rose from their seats in the Great Hall to go to the football fields. The two teams went into their separate locker rooms to get ready and discuss their plans as the rest of the school filed into the bleachers surrounding the fields. The commentator calls out the names of the people on the two teams as they all run out individually, getting into their positions on the field. Once everyone is ready the game begins. Harry kicks the ball forward to one of his teammates but it's taken by Draco. As he passed by Harry he puts on a sweet smile, quickly replaced by an evil-but hot-smirk. Harry continues to play, questions swarming his brain. He pushes them aside, focusing on winning the game.

After four shots from Slytherin Gryffindor brings it back, scoring ten points by the end of the game. After high fiving everyone and saying 'good game' - a rule for the end of every football game- the teams go back to the locker rooms they were in an hour before and change back into their school robes. Harry takes his time since he won't be going up to the school for at least another hour, but all his teammates rush to meet up with their friends as they walk back to the huge castle-like school. Finally the only people left are Ron and Harry, Hermione probably waiting outside for them. Harry tells Ron to go ahead and, although very reluctant, he finally gives in and leaves the messy haired boy alone. Once Harry is sure the Slytherins are all out of the opposite locker room he heads over, butterflies filling his stomach. _What if he's planning to beat me up_ Harry wonders. He shivers, and it's not from the cold of the autumn air. It's as if hours pass by before Harry's feet finally find their way to the Slytherin locker room, where Harry can hear the sound of a single shower running. _Perhaps I should just tell him I couldn't make it. I can come up with an excuse!_ But Harry's feet disobeyed his orders to turn around and walked into the room as the water was turning off. Draco rounds the corner, only wearing a towel around his waist. His long, blonde hair is dripping onto his shoulders and chest, a few drops on his gorgeous face. Harry inhales sharply.

"Potter." Draco says with confidence, noticing Harry checking him out. Harry bites his lip out of embarrassment, looking away from Draco as his cheeks heat up. He stutters on his words, finally just saying Malfoy and turning to walk out. Draco rushes to him silently, grabbing his wrist and turning him so he can't leave. He closes the door, locking it as a small smile spreads across Harry's face.

"You haven't come to see me, didn't you read my letter on the train?" Harry's smile drops instantly at the question. He hadn't read Dracos letter, but how would Draco feel? Would he have to explain why? _Then I would sound dumb.._ He thought. Draco waves his hand in front of Harry's face.

"What? Oh.. Umm.. I couldn't." Harry sighs thinking back to what happened on the train.

"Why?" Draco asks, a hint of sadness in his voice. Harry doesn't seem to notice Draco's feeling about him not reading it as he explains what happened.

"So.. It flew out the window.." Harry finishes. Draco starts to pull out an envelope from his backpack on the locker room bench, handing it to Harry.

"Another copy. Read it when you get back to the Castle." Harry nods, turning to walk out again. Draco smirks, grabbing his wrist and turning him. He pushes him against a set of lockers, pushing his lips against Harry's. Harry tenses for a moment, then moves his lips with Dracos. It's very fast at first, like they're hungry for each other and haven't eaten in weeks. After a minute or two they slow down, a soft gentle kiss. Draco licks Harry's bottom lip and butterflies fill Harry's stomach, but he keeps his mouth closed. Draco pulls away, letting out a small sigh as he pants.

"Malfoy." Harry says sternly, despite his shortness of breath, pulling him closer. Draco places his forehead against Harry's, their heavy breathing mingled together.

"You should go." He whispers "people will get suspicious. They probably already are."

"I don't care." Harry says, reconnecting their lips. His tongue invades Draco's mouth as his hands run down his chest to his butt. Their tongues rub together as Harry grips Draco's butt and Draco moans quietly. His hands shoot up to Harry's hair, pulling it lightly. Harry disconnects their lips, despite Draco's whines and attempts to kiss the shorter boy more. He starts placing small, sloppy kisses down Draco's neck. At one point Draco shudders under his touch and Harry starts sucking on the spot. After a few minutes Harry pulls back, looking at his masterpiece. Draco pulls him back, giving into his impatience. Their lips smash together, but Harry hears the small moving of a door and stops. He pulls away from Draco, sitting opposite of where he's standing against the lockers.

"Why'd you stop?" Draco whines. Harry looks down and sees Draco's bulge prominent in his pants.

"Someone was moving the door. Anyways, you should probably take care of that" Harry stops, pointing at Draco's problem, "before you head back up. Dinner will be soon."

Draco shuffles on his feet uncomfortably. Harry shrugs, moving to him quickly. He places a small kiss on his lips. Draco pulls him closer, trying to deepen the kiss. The main door opens and they both stop, their eyes bulging from their heads as the person at the door screams.


	4. Tell the World Quick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise in advance for any mistakes in spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Originally written November 1, 2016.

"Pansy, damnit... Shut up!" Draco hisses. Pansy giggles, clinging to Draco's arm as she sneaks glances at the Gryffindor table. Draco grumbles in annoyance, standing and leaving the great hall quickly. Pansy whines, going to follow him, but by the time she's processed what just happened and is standing to leave he's already walking to the dungeons of the castle where the Slytherin's dorms are. For the most part Slytherins are cowards or evil and snuck up. They think they're better than everyone but when it comes to proving it they can't.

Draco makes it to the common room of their dorms and sits in his chair. There are a few first years in the room and they quickly flee when their eyes lay upon Draco. He's been extra annoyed lately, especially with Pansy. See, she's the one that found them, Harry and himself, making out in the locker rooms. She thinks it's cute, but she's also extremely jealous because of her crush on Draco. He doesn't care much, though. He's only interested in one person.

He checks the time, making sure he can do homework before going to meet Harry. He rushes to his room, which he doesn't have to share with anyone -unlike the other Slytherins- and sits. He reads over the directions a few times, making sure he understands them and is going to do the work correctly, then begins. He gets through three problems before his mind starts to wander and it's more difficult for him to concentrate.

_"Potter." I sigh, looking Harry up and down. He blushes, walking to me and sitting on my lap. My lips immediately find his, my mouth automatically opening. His tongue rubs against mine as his hands roam my body._

Draco snaps out of his thoughts, the alarm in his room buzzing.

"Shit, I'm late.." He mumbles, rushing around his room. He takes off his school robes and fashionably speed-walks down the staircase into the common room. His friends try to stop him but he shoves them all away, mumbling about talking later. He's in too much of a hurry to care about anything else right now.

By the time he gets to the room Harry and him are supposed to meet in he's already fifteen minutes late. He walks in quietly, almost silently, but Harry isn't there. _Oh god, I was late and he left_ Draco thought to himself, but then _no, Harry is always late. I should really get him a watch or something._

So Draco waits, but Harry doesn't come. After twenty minutes Draco starts pacing. _Damnit potter, where are you?_ He wondered. Hours passed - or maybe minutes, Draco couldn't tell - before he decided to go back to his room.

Half-way down the hall he bumped into someone.

"Watch where you're going," he grumbled, continuing to walk down the hallway. He heard footsteps rushing toward him, then someone gripped his wrist.

"Malfoy," someone said expectantly behind him. Draco turned, quickly being pinned against a wall.

"I can't do this right now, potter." Draco yawned, trying to get out of the pressure Harry was putting on him.

"Football field tomorrow after classes. Be there." With that, Harry left. Draco brushed his clothes off before walking away like nothing happened. Once in his room, he changed into PJs and sat on his bed. He was tired, but so much was going through his head he knew there was no point in trying to sleep. Pulling the covers around him, he leaned against the headboard and read the night away.

Classes went by slowly the next day. Draco sat dozing off the whole day, dreaming about Harry and himself. At one point he fell asleep. He woke up to an empty classroom, no one had bothered to wake him up. Lucky for him, it was his last class. Harry had one class more than Draco, so he had time before going down to the fields. He walked aimlessly around the huge school, stopping every now and then to annoy some younger class men, before walking down the many flights of stairs to the football field on the grounds of the school. By the time Draco made it there Harry was already laying in the grass, although Draco made sure he was early. Sighing, Draco sat next to Harry. They sat in silence for many moments and Draco recalled all the stuff they had been through in the past four years and the couple months since school has started.

"I can't be in a secret relationship, Draco." Harry whispered, though he showed no signs of moving in any sort of way, even to speak.

"I thought you weren't out?" Draco asked softly, laying down and tangling his fingers with Harry's. Harry didn't pull away from the touch, but he didn't hold Draco's hand back either.

"Just because I haven't told people doesn't mean they don't _know..."_ Harry gently squeezes Draco's hand. He looks over at Draco, sitting up slightly to look into his eyes. "I know you aren't out.. But I can't keep hiding. I want to do so many things with you, but most of them can't be done in secrecy. I want to do all the cliche things you see in movies or the things people call relationship goals. For special events i want to be able to show you off! I want to be able to dress up and match you just to be cute. I want to take pictures of us kissing and show them to people because they'll think it's cute too. I can't act like a hate you in front of everyone else when I care so much..."

Draco doesn't reply. He's too stunned to say anything. He wants to do all those things too, but what would everyone else say. Everyone knew them as enemies, how could they suddenly love each other? Did they love each other? Draco knew he cared about Harry a lot, but did he love him? _Of course you love him, you've loved him for a long time._ His mind reminds him. What will he do though? 

  
Draco takes too long to answer. Harry lets go of Draco's hand, standing up.

"Dinner is soon. I'll see you around." With that he leaves. Draco lays there for a few more moments before getting up and chasing after Harry.

"Potter!" He yells, his hair bouncing on top of his head as he runs. Harry stops, looking at him. Draco doesn't say anything, just intertwines their fingers and leads the way to the great hall. As they walk people stare, but Draco doesn't care. He loves Harry Potter, that's all that matters. He doesn't care who knows.

They walk into the hall, maybe students already eating dinner. Harry's grip tightens then loosens on Draco's hand, reassuring him it'll be okay.

"What if everyone hates me.." Draco whispers as the doors slam closed behind them. Everyone stops and looks at them. Some faces fill with anger, others with happiness. A few have knowing looks in their eyes while others have that look of realisation.

"Guess we'll see what happens. Sit with me." Harry tugs Draco and he follows, sitting in between Harry and Hermione. Her face is bright and cheerful. She knew all along, after all. Ron on the other hand.. He was never really that observant and obvious anger radiated from his body. Draco shivered. He knew it wasn't because Harry was gay, just because of who he loved. Or maybe he had been angry all day, he didn't care to pay attention to the ginger boy very much.

"What the hell mate!" Ron yelled a little louder than he had meant to. "I knew you were gay and everything but why hadn't you told us who you were dating until now! How long has this," he motions between Harry and Draco "been going on, huh? Probably months I'm assuming. Best friends don't keep secrets!"

"Ron, you're causing a scene. Just shut up and we'll talk about it later!" Hermione hissed. Ron stood, leaving the great hall. Hermione sent an apologetic look at the couple before rushing after him. The room exploded with chatter again, probably about what had just happened.

"Im sorry," Draco mumbled before standing and leaving. He went to the only place he could think of at the time - the football fields. By now the sun was on the other side of the world, the moon shining brightly over head. The stars were glittering in the darkness and Draco threw himself to the ground, crying. Somehow, no matter what, he always seemed to mess up every good thing in his - and everyone else's - lives. Maybe things would be better if he just stayed away.


	5. Sorting it Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I apologise in advance for grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Originally written November 8, 2016.
> 
> W A R N I N G - There’s smut towards the end of this chapter right up until the end. If you don’t want to read it, there is a slightly clear sign when it comes up. I’m sorry in advance for this too. I hope you guys don’t get second-hand embarrassment. I was just reading it through for the first time since I wrote it and it’s.. bad. Good luck with this chapter. 
> 
> (3.5.17   
> For some reason everything I had in italics was changed to regular font. When I try to fix it all my paragraphs get pushed into one giant blob. I also apologise for that. I’ll fix it as soon as possible, but it’s still readable without it.)  
> (12.27..18  
> It's finally fixed lol)

Harry was confused. Every time he went to see Draco he just told him he should stay away. Harry thought this was his fault, he's the one that wanted to be public after all. Draco insisted it was all his though and they couldn't be together. Harry didn't really understand though.

After dinner one night Harry ran upstairs and took out a sealed letter. It was the letter Harry was supposed to receive on the train. He hadn't opened it yet even after having it for weeks. He decided now was probably the best - and only - time to open it. He slid his finger under a small flap that wasn't sealed and slid his finger in between the flap and envelope. The glue holding the two pieces together stayed intact but the paper ripped at the very top. Harry slid the letter out gently and unfolded it, making sure nothing bad happens to this copy. He doubted Draco had a third copy, but then again he just might. It's just how Draco is.

Looking around to be sure no one was around, Harry began reading:

_Potter_   
_So this is the last letter I will be writing to you. We agreed to exchange letters on the train. If we had sent them to each other we wouldn't have been able to read them until Christmas which is three months later._

_Anyways, I figured since this is the last letter I might as well make it good and long. We didn't have any sort of theme for these letters, but for the last one I think we both had the same idea: to write about our feelings. Not feelings in general though, our feelings toward each other. This oughta be interesting.._

_Ever since I saw you for the very first time when I went to that filthy public school for a couple weeks I wanted to be your friend. From a very young age I knew who I was and what I wanted. Even though I hated the school I begged my mother to let me stay. She said yes, but my father had other plans. So I left after a couple weeks, one of which I spent avoiding you so I wouldn't get too attached. After a couple years of being taught basic stuff at home I got a letter from Hogwarts. My parents signed all the paperwork and I started going there._

_We met on the train that very first day we started at Hogwarts. You were with Weasley and Granger and you wouldn't be my friend. I was always interested in you and the rejection hit me hard. I disguised my love with hate and constantly picked on you and your friends. I always wanted to be your boyfriend, or at least your friend, but I never got either because I thought you hated me. Now, after four years, I realise you don't hate me. In fact you want to be my friend._

_I'm sorry I was always so bad to you. It was only because you rejected me. I care a lot about you and I hope one day we can be together._   
_With love,_   
_Draco xx_

Harry's eyes filled with tears as he read the letter a couple more times. How could Draco be so cold but so sweet at the same time? Why would he start pushing Harry away when he wanted to be with him this whole time? Harry didn't understand Draco, so he was going to figure him, and this situation, out. He shoved the letter lazily into the ripped envelope, pushing it into his pocket and rushing out into the halls. He walked calmly to football fields. Draco usually went there after dinner to clear his head before it was time to sleep unless he had somewhere to be or homework to do. Once Harry made it into the grassy area he looked around. There was no sign of Draco anywhere. He walked back into the school and went to the dungeons. If Draco wasn't at the fields he was bound to be in his room, right?

Wrong. Some of the other Slytherin students said he went out with Pansy somewhere rather reluctantly and hasn't been seen since. After searching some semi-secret areas for "couples" to go to Harry decided to just go back to his room. It was getting late anyways and they had a curfew. As he went to turn a corner he heard voices and stopped, listening to who it was.

"Pansy just let me go." Someone- Draco- hissed.

"Why are you wasting your time moping around when you could be with me? I've liked you for so long but you've always liked  _him._  Why can't I just be your first and only choice Draco? He's only going to  _hurt_ you!" Pansy complained. There was some rustling around and someone dropped to the ground. Harry heard sobs and quickly looked around the corner. They had both dropped to the ground and Draco was crying. Pansy was trying to comfort him but he kept mumbling for Harry, not really paying attention to her.

"I'll take care of him. Go." Harry mumbled to Pansy, finally rounding the corner. Anger and jealousy flashed across her face as he stood and left, stomping away like a child.

"Draco, baby.. It's me. Hey, look at me." Harry lifted Draco's head and their eyes met. He looked so broken, it hurt Harry so much. Harry's finger moved to wipe tears away from his eyes and he rested his hand on Draco's cheek. He leaned forward slightly, unsure if Draco would allow him to do what he wanted. Draco moved forward too and their lips met. The kiss was filled with so many emotions. There was sadness, anger, fear. Most of all there was love. Draco started to cry harder and a few tears escaped Harry's eyes too. The salty liquid fell onto their lips as they sat there in the middle of the hallway kissing. After a few minutes they both pulled away. Harry smiled at Draco, something he didn't return.

"We can't be together, Harry." Draco whispered. "I'm just going to ruin your friendship with Weasley and friendship is more important."

"Please don't do this.. He'll come around.. He just needs time to adjust and realise you're not a bad guy. He just needs to see how sweet and caring you really are, please!" Harry begs. He didn't care how pathetic he sounded.

"He hates me.. He'll never come around. He wouldn't care if I became the sweetest man alive, he can't forgive as easily as you did. He won't forget all the nasty things I did. He won't care about the reason I did them, he'll only care that I did them. Don't you see, Harry? He can't accept this no matter how hard we try to get him to. If it were because he didn't accept you being gay that would be easier to get him to accept but it's not. It's about me. Without me you'll still be happy and that's all I care about, your happiness. So please just... Stop trying to change my mind because I won't. Stay with your friends, forget your feelings for me. I should never have mattered to you. This was supposed to be one-sided..." By the time he's done he's crying again. All Draco ever wanted was to be with Harry and now he's telling him to forget him. How does anyone tell someone they love that they shouldn't care without crying?

"I read the letter Draco. I've been looking for you for hours. I don't care if Ron doesn't accept us because I want to be with  _you._ Don't  _you_ see, Draco? Doing this, pushing me away.. It's hurting me. You say you care about my happiness but you're trying to take away the one thing that makes me truly happy, you. So stop and just be with me!"

"You'll get over me and find someone better. Someone that Ron will accept you with. You'll be happier with them, I promise."

"No.. No no no. I  _need_ you. I don't need anyone else except you. Please just stay.. Please.. If you want me to be happy you'll stay."

Before Draco can reply someone come from around the corner, the same corner Harry had been hiding behind. "You know.. Harry is right mate. If you care so much then just stay with him. Sure I hate you... But I'll get over it eventually. You have my permission to date my best friend, but please don't hurt him. If you do I will actually kill you." Ron smiles at them awkwardly. "Hermione was looking for you, Harry. She must've over heard you guys and told me to come sort this out. I see how much you care about him so... I'll try. Just be smart, will you two?"

Harry and Draco smile at each other, though Draco looks very uncomfortable and vulnerable. Harry kisses his lips lightly before standing and extending a hand for Draco. He take it and stands, intertwining their fingers.

Ron moans grumpily, "please don't kiss in front of me!"

Harry laughs, squeezing Draco's hand.

"Let's go back to your room.." Harry whispers into Draco's ear,  sending chills down his spine as warm feeling spreads through his crotch.

"Okay," he whispers back, dragging him quickly through the halls. Ron snickers, knowing what's gonna happen.

"Bye guys!" He yells down the empty hallway, "have fun!" His laugh and the boys running steps echo throughout the halls as he makes his way back to the Gryffindor common room, telling his friends he was going to bed.

In the Slytherin dorms two very excited boy were doing the exact opposite.

"Harry," Draco moaned quietly as his boyfriend pushed himself against him on the bed. He felt the brown haired boys crotch harden even more, if that was even possible, when Draco moaned. Harry attacked Draco's neck, biting and licking anywhere he could. He pulled back and smirked as he admired the small mark he left everywhere.

"P-please touch me." Draco begged, his voice small as his cheeks burned red.

"Where baby? Guide me." Harry pushed his hand out and into Draco's. The taller boy moved Harry's hand to his butt, taking the other one and moving it to his hard member. He moaned quietly when he let go of Harry's hand and it dropped instantly onto his bulge. Harry rubbed it teasingly through his pants before unbuttoning and unzipping them with his teeth. His hand moved into Draco's pants and stroked him through his boxers. Draco bit his lip to conceal another moan as pleasure shot through his member.

"Moan for me." Harry demanded, slapping Draco's ass lightly. Draco moaned quietly as his head tilted back from Harry's touch. Harry took his hands away from his boyfriend and he whined before his eyes bulged. Harry ripped his pants and boxers off, moving his face to Draco's ass. He liked around his entrance teasingly before shoving his tongue in and out of his hole skilfully. Draco moaned loudly, pushing his ass against Harry's face. His hand finds his member and he begins stroking himself. Harry stops, telling Draco to stop. He does, whining as he waits for Harry to continue. After he doesn't Draco moves to kiss him.

"Why did you stop?" Draco mumbles against his lips. Harry shrugs, getting up.

"Lube? Condom? Anything?" He asks. Draco points to a drawer in his desk and Harry quickly grabs what he needs.   
As he's looking though, he notices a gag and handcuffs.

"Kinky, are you?" Harry smirks. Draco blushes and hides his face. Harry rushes to him, pulling his face up by putting his pointer finger under his chin. "We'll save that for another night." He whispers in Draco's ear. Draco shivers slightly.

"Can we.." Draco trails off as Harry goes to rip the condom package open.

"Can we what?" Harry asks gently.

"Don't use it? Please?" Draco's cheeks become more read as he sits there looking at Harry. He throws the condom over onto the desk, nodding slightly.

"Prep yourself," Harry demands. Draco does as he's told, slipping fingers into his ass one by one, some followed by quiet moans, until he's stretched enough. "Good boy," Harry whispers, biting Draco's ear. Draco shudders, groaning. Harry puts some lube on his member before rubbing it against Draco's entrance. Draco closes his eyes preparing for the pain even though he's felt it numerous times before. Harry pushes himself fully into Draco and hits his prostate on the first thrust. Over and over he hits this spot, both of them moaning loudly. Draco starts striking himself to the pace of Harry's thrusts and soon he cums all over their chests and the bed screaming Harry's name. After another minute or so Harry cums too, moaning loudly before pulling out of Draco and wiping sweat off his forehead. He gets up to grab a cloth and starts cleaning the two of them off. By the time he's done Draco is passed out. He cuddles up to him, kissing his forehead before falling into a sweet dream about his baby.


	6. Stay away from him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise in advance for any mistakes in grammar, punctuation, and spelling. I haven't touched this fic in months. Originally written November 26, 2016.

_Draco seems really happy_ Harry thought as he watched Draco from the other side of the classroom. It was their only class together today and their assigned seats were so far apart. Draco usually had a seat open on the right of him but today it's occupied by a new student. This rarely happened, someone transferring in half way through the school year. Harry was slightly jealous as he watched Draco laugh lightly at something the new student said. Even he couldn't get Draco to laugh that much and he was his boyfriend. He pushed his chair back so it was standing on its two back legs and watched the new boy enviously. His hand twitched slightly as Draco's arm was touched by this.. Intruder. He fought back the urge to yell at the boy and drag Draco away.  _I can't get in trouble right now. Mid terms are right around the corner. Pay attention dumby!_

Hermione pinched Harry's arm harder than she meant to and Harry let out a loud yelp. His chair fell backwards as his hand flew to where Hermione had pinched him. Both of their faces were bright red and burning and the teacher glared at Harry. All the students went silent. He mumbled something along the lines of 'Sorry professor' before sitting his chair back up and leaning back in it again. He averted his eyes as he heard laughs from Draco's table. He knew Draco wasn't laughing at him, but others he sat with must have been. Most of the Slytherins in the class were laughing, but Harry was completely certain Draco wasn't.

The bell chimed and Harry rushed out the door. Draco came out moments later and Harry grabbed him by the shirt and crashed their lips together. Draco blushed but reacted immediately, groaning slightly as Harry's tongue invaded his mouth and slid against his own tongue. They both pulled away and Draco smiled lovingly at Harry as he flicked his forehead. Harry's head turned and, as he thought, the new student was standing there watching.

"What was that?" Draco questioned, slightly amused. He could tell Harry was jealous but would act oblivious. They may be officially out and dating now but Draco still loved pissing him off.

"N-nothing.." Harry mumbled, "I just needed to kiss you. Really bad. I haven't been able to all day!"

Draco shook his head, laughing loudly before pecking Harry's lips and intertwining their fingers.

"Sorry, I need to tend to this needy boy. I'll see you later." Draco sighed, waving to the mystery-transfer student. Harry sighed too, still staring intensly at the boy. He shuffled awkwardly under Harry's stare before waving shyly and walking the opposite way of them. Draco pulled Harry away to go to the great hall and get some food.

Draco asked his boyfriend simple questions like "how has your day been" or "have you got any homework you need to do?" as they walked. Harry responded grumpily, his mind still on that stupid boy. Draco noticed his behaviour and stopped, pushing him against the wall. Harry didnt have time to process what was happening before Dracos lips were pressed roughly against his. He licked the shorter boys bottom lip before slipping his tongue into his mouth. Their mouths moved together in sync like a dance and Harry found his thoughts completely cleared. Draco's hands moved to cup both Harry's cheeks as the kiss softened a bit. Finally pulling away, the boys acted as if nothing just happened and walk hand in hand to the great hall. They eat dinner at the Gryffindor table talking quietly about the next football match and all the homework they had. After they finish eating the boys go to their seperate dorm rooms.

Harry finds it hard to sleep that night. His mind may have been cleared of the new student earlier but now he had plenty of time to think.  _How am I going to get him to stay away from Draco? Why can he make him laugh but I can't? Is Draco going to leave me for him?_ The last thought hit Harry harder than he expected because he loved Draco. He didnt want to lose him. Especially not like this. He knew though, that Draco wouldn't do that. He would tell Harry the honest truth at any time and he has never told Harry that he didn't want to be with him. He doesn't have anything to worry about. Even if Draco likes this kid he loves Harry, nothing can change that.

The next morning Harry goes to the great hall to eat breakfast and finds Draco with his new little friend.  _Dont get jealous, he only wants you._ Harry walks over to his boyfriend and sits calmly next to him. The boy introduces himself to Harry and says he's heard great things about him from his new friend. He also explains he's been in school for a couple weeks but hadn't started classes until two days ago. Suddenly Harry feels like all his old feelings for this boy are invalid. He shouldn't have felt jealous. Draco never thought of him in that way even for a moment. That doesn't stop him from seeing the way he looks at Draco though. That doesnt stop him from wanting this boy as far from the blonde as possible.

The bell chimes and the couple goes in opposite directions but the boy stays with Draco. Hermione and Ron meet up with Harry in the hallway and they all go to their first class of the day. Harry has no intentions of paying attention but he can't skip the class. He takes his seat to the left of Ron and Hermione takes her seat to the Right of Ron. A few minutes later he walks in.

"Is this seat taken?" Jim asks Harry. He shakes his head and Jim takes the seat. "Wow! We have another class together! How exciting!"

 _Yeah. So exciting.._ Class ends as quickly as it begins and Harry takes his time packing up his things. It seems Jim isnt so interested in leaving the class very quickly either since he's barely packed any of his belongings away yet. His face is twisted up in confusion and discomfort.  _Be friendly. If he thinks you're friends he'll feel bad for trying to steal your boyfriend! Then it wont happen!_

"Say Jim, looks like youre having a bit of trouble. Need any help?" Harrys face scrunches up awkwardly as Jim looks towards him.

"No. I'm just waiting to talk to the professor. Thanks though!" Jim smiles appreciatively but it drops quickly and he looks away. Harry quickly leaves, nearly being locked out of next class. He sits next to Draco in this class. Hopefully Jim wont be in here. Harry quickly scans the rows of students as he walks to his seat. His eyes lock on the two empty chairs in the third row.  _Our seats... They're empty.._ He sits quietly and class begins moments later. Harry doesn't bother listening to this lecture either, he's too busy thinking. Surely Draco had a good reason to miss this class. He wouldn't just skip, he cares too much about his lessons. After this class is a free period and then lunch. He can either go see Draco in his dorm or go to his own dorm and risk overthinking. Not that he's not risking it right now by zoning out of lectures. At this point he doesnt care very much.

The bell chimes and Harry rushes out. He runs to the Slytherin dorms and sneaks in. Draco is laying in bed passed out. Harry shakes him awake and the first thing Draco does is scream. Harry comforts him to the best of his abilities before asking why he was asleep instead of in class. By the end of the explaination, which took a little over an hour, Harry is beyond angry and his boyfriend is in tears. He bursts out of the room with Draco at his heels, heading for the great hall. The whole walk there the explaination keeps replaying in his mind and he feels like hes about to explode. He sees Jim sitting with a couple girls and tells Draco to stay in the hallway before walking up to them. He puts on a calm face despite his need to punch something multiple times and asks the boy to walk with him. He agrees, telling the girls he'll be back soon.  _No you wont._ The two walk out of the great hall silently. No one seems to notice them leave except Hermione.  _Good. Things are going to get messy. Really messy._ Once the boys are in the hallway Harry pushes Jim against the wall. Hard. Draco shrinks back in fear of both the boys in front of him, his face still wet and his eyes puffy and red. Harry punches the boy, continuously screaming never to go near Draco again. Jim yells in pain as Harry's fist connects with his cloth covered skin over and over. Harry goes to punch him again but Hermione catches his fist, stopping him from coming in contact with the boy's face. Harry and Jim fall to the ground. Jim is having a hard time breathing and Harry is just staring at the floor. Draco stands there in shock, fresh tears falling down his cheeks. He's not sure whether to comfort Harry or fear him. Hermione helps Jim up, bringing his limp body to the hospital wing of the school.

Harry can't find it in himself to do anything other than ignore the world at that moment. As he walks back to his dorm room, knuckles raw and bloody, Draco begs him to go back to his room with him. He ignores him and walks away. Instead of cleaning up like he should, Harry just lays in bed. Hes completely numb to everything around him. Theres no feeling in his thoughts at all, in  _him_ at all. He doesnt care about what he did or how he made anyone else there feel. Hes incapable of feeling anything at all at the moment.  _Is it good or bad to not feel anything at all? Maybe now I'll stop caring about small things that don't even matter that much to begin with. It's probably better that way anyways._

Harry's emotionless body wished sleep would overcome it. He can't handle having thoughts without feelings. He want's his boyfriend but he can't have his boyfriend if he can't feel anything. There's no point in having the label of partners if you don't have the capability to be attracted to the person - or anyone and thing for that matter - anymore.

Maybe sleep was all the boy needed. As he slept he trashed around in his bed. The dried up blood rubbed off of his knuckles and his scabs peeled open. Blood oozed from the wounds as he twisted and turned under his covers. When he awoke the next morning his sheets were covered in blood. This happened day after day until his hand finally healed. He had gotten off with two months of after-class detention for beating Jim up. Once everyone heard what Jim did to Draco he was thrown into detention as well. Harry grew colder and colder to emotions. He tried acting happy for his boyfriends sake but nothing seemed right to him. Months and months of lies built up and the couple broke up. Draco found out Harry didn't care and although he loved Harry he knew it was better to let him go. For the first time in what felt like years Harry cried. He didnt let anyone see him, just hid in his dorm room. Eventually he fell asleep. The next day he went back to being cold, colder than usual.  _Draco, save me from myself. I want to feel again. I can't live my life without emotion, without love and hate.. without you. I need to laugh and cry.. to live.. Please..._


	7. Forgive me, Love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise in advance for any mistakes in spelling, grammar and punctuation. Originally written March 21, 2017.
> 
> This is it, the final chapter. Sorry I disappeared for a year before publishing these last two chapters, I don't really have an excuse. I don't even remember what happened in this chapter but I know it didn't follow my original plot lines. I hope you guys enjoyed this fic. Bye y'all.

Year six did  _not_ start how Draco had planned. When he imagined year six just the year before he imagined himself being happy with Harry. He always thought it would be a year of cheerfulness. Instead it was a year of suffering. Everytime Harry passed him in the hallway he yearned for the shorter boy. He often had to hold back from running to Harry and yelling at him for being so stupid or showing him all the pain and anger Draco had felt by kissing him.

Month after month Harry became harsher towards others, making irrational decisions left and right or barely leaving his dorm room. The more he hid from humanity the more insane he became. Draco could see it in his eyes when they accidentally made eye contact in their shared classes, along with a look of guilt and longing. That's how Draco knew he was still human and there was still hope for them.

With just a few months left of year six his plans to get Harry back fell into action. First Ron and Hermione would slowly get Harry to snap out of this trance he was in and gradually he would start seeing Harry again. He would remind Harry of all the happy memories they made together to wake up all the long lost feelings. After that they would be together again, finishing their final year at Hogwarts with no other distractions. They would settle down together, have a family. Everything would be perfect.

The two had multiple classes together and luckily got put next to each other. Though most of the time Harry would ignore him, Draco tried getting his attention anyways. He started being his personal bully again just to get a reaction as Harry often acted like Draco didn't exist. Harry responded to that almost immediately. He didn't understand where the sudden hatred came from, though he didnt blame Draco for hating him again. Truthfully it pained Harry to ignore Draco but they couldn't get involved again. Not after what happened last year. Harry was losing hope, but Draco knew he could get through to him.

Harry heard his friends, which he didnt think he had the right to call them anymore, yelling his name when he entered the great hall. He hadn't been in here for so long. Today he only came down to see Draco. Since they had gotten together Draco had been sitting with Ron and Hermione at the Gryffindor table, even when Harry didn't leave his dorm room. Today Draco wasn't there.  _Maybe he's talking to a professor_ Harry thought as he made his way to the table. He sat with his friends in silence. How was he supposed to apologise for a year of ignoring everyone and getting in trouble? How was he supposed to explain the reason for his actions without exposing Draco? He was so upset about it, it's his secret. It's not something Harry can tell people. He decided to just listen to the conversation Ron and Hermione had started. They were talking about football and how there hadn't been a game in a while. Since it was almost spring games were indoors now and a lot less frequent.

"There should be a game soon!" Yelled Ron.

"I doubt that, there hasn't been a game in almost three months. I don't think theres going to be anymore games until next year." Replied Hermione, sighing.

"Why is that?" Harry asked. His friends stared at him in shock. Hermione began explaining what happened during the last game and Ron pretended to be annoyed with them both. It was just like old times, but things were so different. Harry decided that he would come to the great hall more often again. He diverted his attention from Hermione  when he heard the big doors close. There he was. Draco walked down the rows of tables and stood next to Harry, his mouth next to his ear.

"Come with me," he whispered.  _This is going against my plan_ Draco thought to himself as Harry stood. He didn't care though and the pair walked into the hallway. Draco stopped when they reached an empty hallway and leaned against the wall. "Explain yourself."

"Explain myself? I thought you of all people would understand why I did what I did!"

"Maybe I  _could_ understand if you told me why you shut yourself away in your room except to go to classes and why you decided to suddenly become a bad boy!" Draco's heart was pounding. He didn't want to yell at Harry, he wanted to kiss him.

"I needed you to save me," Harry whispered. He took a step toward Draco, then another. He didn't stop until his hand was pushed against the wall beside Draco's head. The other hand cupped Draco's cheek. Then he leaned in close, millimetres from Draco's face.

"Can I kiss you?" Draco nodded his head as Harry closed the remaining space between them. Draco felt like he was falling in love with the boy all over again. His legs begin to go weak as his arms snake around Harry's neck and his hands tangle in his hair. The blonde's mouth is invaded by the familiar tongue of his lover and he finally comes to his senses. He pulls away, both his and Harry's lips swollen. After catching their breath Harry moves back a few steps.

"This doesn't mean we're back together," Draco clarifies, "and I still want an explanation."

 _Fine_ Harry thought before grabbing Draco's hand and pulling him to the Gryffindor dorm rooms. Harry would always go to Slytherin dorm rooms but Draco rarely came here. They run up to Harry's room and Draco dances from foot to foot awkwardly. Harry motions for him to sit on the bed, which he does.

"You want an explanation? I'll give you an explanation." Harry sighs before recalling everything that happened and went through his head.

"I was jealous as first, which you knew. After talking to him at lunch that day I thought all my feelings were totally invalid. Of course you didn't want him, only me. After you didn't show up for class though... I got worried. I knew you cared for classes even if you acted like you didn't. Then I found you passed out in your room instesd of in class, something you'd never do voluntarily. You'd do it because you were forced to or told to by a doctor or professor. You told me about what he did to you foe two whole weeks and I was overtaken by anger. I beat him up to be sure he never touched you again. I saw your face though, how scared you were.. I never meant to scare you. So I disappeared from your life. After months od not having you I needed you again. I needed you to save me. I couldn't just run back to you though, I caused you so much pain.. I hid it through coldness. It's something you did, I thought you'd understand. Then again you probably didn't understand you were doing it yourself.. I wanted to see you today though. Outside of classes I mean. I couldn't keep sitting around and waiting so I went to see you. You showed up but I didn't think you'd be angry! I thought you'd get it and help me. You  _did_ help me. Just not in a way you can tell. I'm sorry."

"This makes no sense though. You acted cold toward everyone. Did you not feel bad about it at all?" Draco's words stung and made Harry feel worse, but he knew why Draco was asking and he knew he wouldn't be forgiven so easily.

"I found a way to turn my emotions off. I'm not sure I myself understand it but it happened. They started coming back though, even when I didn't show it. After that I started feelings worse and worse... It's all so confusing..." Harry shook his head, his hands pushed to his forehead and eyes shut tight.

"I want to forgive you so bad, Potter... but this still makes no sense to me. I just need a few days, okay?" Harry nodded his head and Draco stood. He places a small kiss on his hair before leaving to eat. Harry didn't leave his bed, he just fell asleep.

Days passed and Harry never left his room. He would wake up and sit there, then sleep again. Each time he woke up something was missing but he couldn't tell what. The days passed by in a blur but slowly at the same time, like time no longer existed. After a while Harry started hearing voices. They whispered his name. He heard train sounds in his sleep as if he was back on the train to leave Hogwarts. Finally Draco showed up. He stood there while Harry tossed and turned in his sleep. Harry didn't know that Draco had stood there each time he fell asleep and when he woke up he disappeared. The whispers for him grew stronger until he could hear them loudly anywhere he was. One day Harry lay awake in bed, his eyes closed, and he wished for Draco. He opened his eyes and Draco stood there.

"I forgive you, Love." He whispered before throwing himself into Harry's open arms.

\---

 _"Potter!_ Wake up nitwit, the train is almost to Hogwarts. What're you doing sleeping anyways?" He heard a strangely familiar voice say. His eyes fluttered open and none other than eleven year old Draco Malfoy was sitting there across from him. Eleven year old Hermione and Ron were too. Harry rubbed his eyes, perhaps they were mistaken. There they all sat still, on the seat in front of him off to their first year to Hogwarts.

"But we were all in year six! Draco had just forgiven me for beating up some creep in year five! We were going to date again!" Sleep laced in Harry's voice as he shouted.

" _Harry_ ," Hermiones voice said clearly. "It must have been a dream. You and Malfoy haven't dated in the first place and we haven't even started out first year, let alone fifth or sixth."

"Yeah, but that doesnt  _matter_  Hermione. You beat up some creep? Was it great? Did it  _feel_ great? Did he  _die?_ " Ron questioned.

"No, you guys don't understand! That couldn't have been a dream! It was so clear in my mind! I could feel every emotion and every touch! Smell every smell!" Harry shouted, sadness and anger filling him.

"Right. Are you also going to tell us that all four of us weren't friends until  _after_ you and I started dating?" Draco mumbled.

"Yes! Precisely!" Draco shook his head.

"You're out of your mind. I've been friends with Ron for years. In fact we're celebrating ten years of friendship today. Isn't that right?" Draco insisted. Ron nooded his head, grinning. "See. I think you're losing your mind, plain and simple."

Harry turned his head and saw a man with a long beard and half-moon shaped glasses wink at him before disappearing. That's when he understood, it wasn't a dream at all, this was just an altered  _second chance_.

"Draco!" Harry screamed into the silence that had settled, jumping out of his seat.

"Potter?" Draco's face twisted in one of confusion.

"Will you be my boyfriend?" Harry's eyes filled with happiness at the blonde's next words.

"Yes, of course I will." Harry sat back down, Draco sliding into the empty space next to him. Then he whispered, almost too quietly for anyone to hear, "After two years, finally." Their eyes met, green and grey, and they both knew everything would work out, even from the young age of eleven.

_End._


End file.
